mommy [mom-ee] -noun: 1. every woman who has nurtured and cared for a person or object 2. every woman who has given birth to an idea, thought or dream
This perfect description inspired me to reflect on my own birthing/mothering experience.
I have the joy of sharing life with two amazing daughters, recent graduates from high school and college. Over the years, I have had thousands of opportunities to play a part in their journey of giving birth and subsequent growth.
I found my “motherly” mission statement, interestingly enough on a Hallmark card: “A mother helps you push your swing so you can touch the stars”. This perfectly stated what I believe a Mommy’s role to be.
Living by this motto, I’d like to share with you some examples of how this plays out in parenting (and in relationships with all the people in my life).
Beliefs that have grown from this motto:
- They are not “mine” (as in, “These are MY children”, often used as a form of ownership or control)
- They get to choose the swing. It is their life. It is their dream. It is their journey
- I am their guide, looking for ways of cultivating their experience of living life to the fullest
- It is my role to be aware of who they truly are and foster this becoming
- I trust that their inner Spirit knows the way, therefore I listen and hold the light for their dreams and talents to grow and flourish
- I am a lighthouse, a beacon for their dreams
Ruth, age 23 is a sweet, fun, extroverted, left brain adventurer! Her junior year in high school, we received a postcard from a US college in Switzerland. She showed interest in attending, as her passion had been to travel and explore. This opportunity of attending college in Europe, complete with myriads of travel experiences as well as meeting people from dozens of countries, would literally lay the world at her feet. I pursued this idea and a way was made clear for her to go. At age 18, we “pushed that swing” all the way to Lugano,Switzerland! Was it hard “letting her go?” Yes and no. Yes, because we wouldn’t see each other for many months, but in another way, it was very easy. She was launching the life of her dreams and I was privileged to play a major role in making it happen!
Ellen, age 19 is a gentle, wise, introverted, right brain traveler! At age 2 she asked me if we could say our prayers at night so we could “Thank God”. She has always marched to the beat of her own drummer and it has been my honor to grow with her as she creates her own symphony. For example, for her senior prom, she chose a prom dress that was beautiful and “pricey”. She set her sites on it and said “Mom, this is the dress for me”. I asked, “How are you going to pay for it”? She confidently said, “I know I will have it. The money will come.” Feeling rather awkward at playing the “let’s-get-real” parenting role, yet not wanting her to be disappointed, I said, “What if you don’t get enough money?” She said to me, “Mom, you’re always telling me that things will work out. I know I will have the money. It’s going to happen.” Well, with ‘knowing’ and believing like that (I could feel it emanating from her soul), I decided to live by my motto and let the magic unfold as she so clearly knew it would. Low and behold, the money showed up in the perfect amount, at the perfect time! Her dream prom dress looked fabulous and shined especially bright because Ellen knew she allowed it! I was proud of myself for getting out of the way from her already high-flying swing!!
All of us are Exceptional Women, eagerly pushing the swing (when needed) for those we love so they can touch their stars!
Celebrating all women who know that ‘letting go’ is the only way to fly- Joan Kappes
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