How To Experience a Fabulous Life – Step 1

True or false:  “Experiencing a fabulous life is possible for me.”

Do you believe this?

If you answered, ‘Yes, I believe a fabulous life is possible for me’, then read on for how to create an even more fabulous life!  If you answered, ‘No, I don’t believe it because life is ________(fill in the blank)’, then read on just in case you discover a new perspective from which to view your life.  Regardless of your answer, together let’s accept Life’s invitation to ‘Come to the Edge Today!’ and explore this topic for a few minutes, ok?

Let’s get to it – What is Life’s answer to the question of ‘how to experience a fabulous life?’

Consider this:  Every thought we think offers a choice for focus.  One choice focuses on ‘what is wanted’ by you and the other focuses on ‘what is not wanted’.

criminalattPicture each thought as if it were a stick; one end of the stick represents what is ‘wanted’ by you and the other end represents what is ‘not wanted’.  ‘What is wanted’ by you feels like relief; it feels pleasant, happy or  just ‘good’.  It feels ‘downstream’, like you are going with the current in your boat, whereas ‘what is not wanted’ by you feels ‘upstream’, like you are paddling against the current in your boat.  It could feel frustrating, annoying, stressful or a myriad of other not-so-good feelings.  Example:  ‘This RV  is a lot of work and I’m tired of the maintenance” (This thought focuses on ‘what is not wanted’ and feels ‘upstream’).  Example:  “This RV has given our family many years of good memories and it has been enjoyed by all of us” (This thought focuses on ‘what is wanted’ and feels ‘downstream’).

The key to experiencing a fabulous life is that we get to choose which ‘end of the stick’ to focus upon (andpencil10 we do choose whether we are aware of it or not).  By becoming aware of this life-giving tool, we can create a new habit of choosing what is ‘wanted’ (what feels ‘downstream’) on all thoughts and subjects.  Why is this important?  Because we are creators and God/Source has gifted all of us with the gift of free will which is always honored.  If we continually choose (even by default) the ‘what is not wanted’ (upstream) end of the stick, we will experience the essence of that focus (that’s how free will ‘works’).  Likewise, if we develop the habit of choosing and focusing upon the ‘what is wanted’ (downstream) end of the stick, we will experience the essence of that focus (free will works for this end of the stick too)!*

I’d like you to experience the extremes of how each end of the stick feels.  So for fun, pretend that the cockatoo video is the end of the stick that represents the feeling of ‘what is wanted’ by you.  Then, view the Ibex video as a representation of the feeling of the ‘what is unwanted’ end of the stick.  Ready?  View both videos now.

This Cockatoo represents the ‘what-is-wanted’-by-me feeling (watch video now)



Ibex represents the ‘what-is-not-wanted’-by-me feeling (watch video)

Today’s ‘leaping’ exercise:  Now that you have experienced the feeling of the ‘wanted’/downstream and ’unwanted’/upstream ends of the stick,  let’s practice a few thoughts so you get the hang of it.  I’ll offer a few statements below.  Notice the thoughts and feelings that come up as you read them.  Write down as many thoughts about each as you can.  Ready?

  • Winter
  • The government
  • My job
  • My physical body
  • Spring

Example:  I am sick of this Winter!!! (this thought focuses on ‘what is not wanted’/upstream) or, ‘My body is strong and looks good’ (this thought focuses on ‘what is wanted’/downstream)

After writing down your thoughts and feelings, notice what you wrote.  How did each thought feel?  Which end of the stick (wanted or unwanted) is each leaning toward? Does it feel downstream or upstream?  Is there a pattern?  What else do you notice?    As you may have noticed, each thought or topic may focus in a completely different way.  One topic may feel extremely ‘downstream’ while the next may feel extremely ‘upstream’.  Note that where you go with each thought is a habit of focus!!!  Play this game throughout the week noticing where your habits of thought are and how each feels (upstream or downstream).*

criminalattYou may be asking, “Ok, I get it, but what difference does it really make if I focus on what I don’t want vs what I do want”?  EVERYTHING!  You are a powerful creator and you get what is focused upon (and believe) whether you want it or not.  Using this #1 creating tool, (your thoughts combined with awareness of how those thoughts feel, then choosing the ‘what is wanted’ end of the stick) is key to experiencing the life you’ve always wanted!

*Part 2 provides tools for how to make a change and refocus on what is wanted.  For now, practice on noticing what you are thinking and how you feel when you think it.  By being diligent, you are using the power of your free will to create a powerful habit that is communicating to the Universe what you want and how you want to feel!  And, because of this new habit, the essence of ‘what is wanted’ will come to you in creative, loving ways!

Remember, with every thought, you get to freely choose which end of the stick to focus upon!

Oh, the freedom of choice! –  Joan Kappes

If you would like one-to-one support/coaching for this topic, ‘How to Experience a Fabulous Life’, contact me for more information at


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Videos courtesy of YouTube – Cockatoo video – Ibex video  Photos courtesy of – Criminalatt                                                                         Metaphor of ‘the stick’ and ‘upstream/downstream based on “The Astonishing Power of Emotions” by Esther & Jerry Hicks


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